The boys’ stupid secret was that they were going to make an entire website devoted to how ugly I am.  I’m lucky to have such friends.  Luckier still that they were too lazy to actually make such a website.

There’s a pretty disturbing story tucked into the Times today, about an assault that took place, in October, in the Prospect Park subway station in Brooklyn.  Michael Mineo, a Brooklyn resident, and piercer at a tattoo parlor, was spotted smoking a joint on Flatbush Avenue by a pair of cops.  A second pair of cops was not far off.  When Mineo noticed the cops looking at him, he ditched the joint and ran down into the subway station, pursued by all four cops.

One of the cops, Richard Kern, caught Mineo, and, with his baton, brutally sodomized him.  One cop watched from the stairs, while the other two were closer to the action.  After it was over, they took him outside, and told him that if he reported what happened, he’d be charged with felony.  For some reason, they also wrote him an invalid (out of date) court summons for disorderly conduct.

Unfortunately, the online article doesn’t have the same photos of the print article, so you can’t appreciate how perfectly Kern and his two main henchman look like Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle.  You can still appreciate, however, the brilliant case the defense is building: that Kern is clearly an exemplary citizen because “he is married with two children, ages 3 and 1.”

Sometimes life is just a little too close to L.A. Confidential.