Resolute
Here are a few facts about my sister, Phoebe:
• She gets up at 6:30 in the morning, without an alarm.
• She bakes breads and cookies all morning, just because.
• She cleans the house because she wants to, not because mom tells her to.
• She thinks there is nothing more fun than home remodeling.
• She is taller me and weighs about 100 lbs.
• She gets all As at her college (a more prestigious one than mine).
• She studies all the time, and never procrastinates.
• She exercises for fun, and is a fast runner.
• She is an incredible artist.
• She has long, flowing curly hair.
• She is rarely mean—just stubborn.
The other day, while she and my mom polished counters and I sat around eating junk food, I pointed out a number of these things and said, “Man, I really don’t even have a chance! I mean, there isn’t a single area in which I beat Phoebe!”
Mom and Phoebe, being the good Minnesotans they are, hurriedly assured me that surely, I too have my merits. “Yeah, yeah,” I said. “Name one.”
“Well,” said my mother, after a pause, “you have that webcomic.”
January 1st, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Here Here to being the failed eldest sibling. My younger brother is seriously good at everything he touches. He gets straight A’s in the hard classes without blinking, has skipped many many grades in math, is the fifth or sixth best on his swim team which has multiple Olympic contenders, and is nice about the whole thing. However, the worst part is that he’s a better musician than me and doesn’t even really care about it. He surpassed my violin skills by the time he was nine, at that point I had been playing for eight years already. I propose that when you get back to Hampshire we have a very exclusive “Eldest Siblings who Disappoint” drinking session.
January 2nd, 2009 at 6:33 pm
Yeah, me too… the first sibling seems to be like, the first draft.
Also, the guy shooting heroin into your arm looks like Chris.
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:24 pm
My little sister did NOT appreciate this entry.
It seems younger siblings can also see themselves as imperfect. (Despite, in some cases, overwhelming evidence to the contrary…)
I’m glad us “first drafts”all wound up together at our little hippie college.
January 5th, 2009 at 1:24 am
Dear Athena,
I am writing to respond to your advertisement for one “Phoebe.” If the product is indeed as promised, please send me one at your convenience. We can work out pricing over the phone.
Love, Dylan
January 8th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Everyone feels the need at some point to compete with their siblings. It’s hard not to compare yourself to your family. But I assure you Athena, you are a great person in your own right.
On the other hand, I am a younger sibling and I do, in fact, kick ass (rabbinical school is for slackers!).
January 8th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Dylan, the Phoebe’s stubbornness will be the one issue in her arrival. But I’ve put her on back order for you, so I’m sure she’ll get there eventually.
Diana: you know we both just have to get disgustingly famous. That is the answer to everything.
January 9th, 2009 at 2:01 am
Here are a few facts about my sister:
-She was a National Merit Scholar. I was not. She was also in National Honors Society, having somewhere around a 3.7 GPA. I was not, having somewhere around a 3.35 GPA. She scored 4 points higher than me on the ACT and between 400 and 500 points higher on the SAT. As you can see, she is much smarter than I am.
-She reads books for fun. I haven’t read a book that wasn’t required for a class in years.
-She draws awesome cartoons.
-She taught herself how to play the guitar.
-She understands computers.
-She figures things out by herself. (I, on the other hand, wouldn’t have applied to college had my mom not set up tours and interviews and helped me fill out the application).
-She is brave enough to shave her head and be far away from home. (In other words, she’s a bad ass).
Throughout my entire high school experience teachers would say to me, “Oh, you’re ATHENA’S sister.” Our English teacher thought she was a better writer and our art teacher used her films as examples.
P.S. I didn’t get ANY A’s this semester and I had fewer classes than you.
January 9th, 2009 at 4:05 am
ok, this sister thing is adorable, but STOP THE COMPETITION! IT MAKES ME SAD!
January 9th, 2009 at 4:31 am
Phoebe, I love you. That was an amazing response.
(I can’t help but mention that today you cleaned the kitchen, living room, dining room, and entry way. Just because you’re a good person. And I slept in till 11:00.)
But that was still a sweet, funny, and all-around awesome post. And I love you a lot.