My love affair with “Skins” has come to a bitter end.  And it started out so good!  No really: watch the first episode online, and you will agree.  It’s clever and funny: like The O.C. done by somebody more jaded and more British.  But let me tell you about Season 2, Episode 9.  That is, the second-to-last episode of the “first generation” of the series (for Season 3, they came out with an all-new younger, fresher cast).

Let me set the scene:  Cassie (anorexic, suicidal, and generally CRAZY) has just fled from England to New York because…well, it’s not explained too well.  Basically she thinks she’s too in love with her boyfriend?  (Her boyfriend being the faithful, funny, and totally agreeable Sid.)  In New York, everyone she meets is utterly sweet and eager to help her—in fact, a black cab driver whom she meets in a “bad neighborhood” drives her around for free, and then gives her a little cash so she can get something to eat.  She goes into a restaurant to order some chili (but doesn’t eat it), and immediately meets a nice waiter named Adam who’s recently moved to the city from Iowa and is tentatively pursuing a photography career.  Also, he looks like an underwear model.  Also, he has a huge apartment in a terrific location.  (What, hasn’t this been everyone’s New York experience?)

Anyway, Adam takes Cassie out to a club, but she freaks out after a moment, and runs blindly all the way out to some kind of  dock—a cute, well-lit, completely unsketchy dock.  Adam pursues her.

Adam: Boy, you can run.
Cassie: I’m fucked up.
(Adam has a thoughtful pause.)
Adam: Yeah.
Cassie: I ran away.
Adam (sarcastic): No…
Cassie: I thought Americans didn’t do irony.
Adam: It’s Manhattan.  It’s different.
(Long, thoughtful pause for both.)
Cassie: Don’t you want to know what I did?
Adam: Would it change anything?
Cassie: No.
Adam: So…let’s go.
Cassie: Do they have boats on this river?
Adam (Turns around very slowly.  Raises on eyebrow): No.
Cassie: There!  You did it again!
(Adam kisses Cassie on the cheek.  Then he steps back and puts out his hand.  She takes it.)

Next scene: Adam’s apartment.  He is asleep in bed.  Cassie comes into the room and looks at some of the photos he’s taken, of his ex-girlfriend.

Cassie: Don’t worry.  He’s okay.  I won’t touch.
(Cassie takes off everything but her underwear and gets into bed with Adam.)

Next scene: it’s morning.  Cassie wakes up to no Adam…but a note, pinned to the bed by an apple (ooh, symbolism!  Get it, his name is ADAM, like in the BIBLE, and remember about the apple and the snake, and…yeah.)

Adam Voiceover (as Cassie reads the note): Dear Cassie.  I went away for awhile.  To get some snaps.  Stay here for as long as you want.  It was nice knowing you.  Adam.
(Cassie looks at the apple sadly, then takes a bite out of it.  She begins to cry.)

Adele’s Hometown Glory plays.

Next scene: Cassie, fully dressed, runs desperately through the city—to where?  WHO KNOWS!!!

End of episode.