It’s the weekend and CHRIS SEMPLE is here! I haven’t seen the guy face-to-face for over eight months. In Goldfeather’s words, that’s almost a baby’s time! Friday Night Plans = making everyone see me sing at the Cow AND THEN seeing Inglourious Basterds.  Anyway, I’m pretty pumped and don’t know what else to say. So…

Here is Sam J’s story about hitting on drunk girls at parties:

At a big U of M party, Sam watches some douche bag walk up behind a girl and start massaging her back—the guy doesn’t even know her. Sam, standing in front of the girl, says, “Looks like you’ve got a new boyfriend.” The girl laughs, and then just leans forward and starts kissing him.

The douche bag abandons his back massage seduction, and walks off pissed. He glares at Sam J for the rest of the party.

Later, very drunk, Sam J and one of his friends walk home. Reaching their building, they get in the elevator—and inside is the douche bag. Sam decides to start chatting with him. “Hey man, what’s your name? Come on, what’s your name? Is it—Mike? Is it Jake? Hey, maybe it’s one of those gender neutral names, like—like Ashley. Is it Ashley? Or Leslie! Is it Leslie? Hey Leslie! Leslie! Hey Leslie!”

Sam spent the remainder of the elevator ride calling the dude Leslie.