Let it be known that Phoebe’s phone was not actually on vibrate. Phoebe’s phone is never on vibrate. It’s just easier to fit “bzz” into a panel. But please let’s take a moment to examine Phoebe’s impeccable taste in ringtones:

* UH HUH THIS MY SHIT THIS MY SHIT THIS MY SHIT
“Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani. This was her first-ever ringtone for her first-ever cell phone, during her sophomore year of high school. And it was the shit.

* FEEL GOOD nahnahnahnah FEEL GOOD
“Feel Good Inc.” by Gorillaz. Another high school ringtone selection. Great song.  Overly aggressive ringtone.

* buuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUHHH
The theme song to LOST. Hands down, dumbest ringtone ever. Given that the “theme song” from LOST is basically just a single note that gradually gets louder. And in ringtone form, it was so quiet that she ended up missing a bunch of calls.

* KDINAP MISTER SANDY CLAWS? I WANNA DO IT! LET’S DRAW STRAWS!
Next came “Kidnap the Sandy Claws,” from “Nightmare Before Christmas.” A seasonal selection.  So annoying as to almost ruin the Christmas season.

* HEY MISTER TAMBOURINE MAN PLAY A SONG FOR ME
The Bob Dylan era lasted a long time. It’s not a bad song, but it was a REALLY loud ringtone.

* I FLY LIKE PAPER GET HIGH LIKE PLANE
M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” was a solid choice. She rocked this ringtone all of last summer. I had no qualms with this.

* ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT OKAY OKAY I DON’T DANCE I DON’T DANCE NO WAY
T.I.’s “Swing Ya Rag” is her current choice. No comment.

(In all fairness, my phone blasted “My Humps” all through high school, and for most of college I stuck to the theme song from “Alfred Hitchcock Presents.” We are both unforgivably obnoxious.)