In case you’re not familiar with those guys, they are:
Ken Burns, Jon Krakauer, Liev Schreiber, Elliott Smith, and Eugene Mirman.
(FYI, the words coming out of Krakauer and Schreiber’s mouths aren’t quotes, just summaries I wrote based on this Krakauer interview and this Schreiber interview.  But the other three guys’ words are direct quotes. Also FYI, by “thesis,” they mean “Div III.”)

And now, a story about Lois Bailey:

A few months ago, while working a shift in Alumni Relations, I was helping Lindsay edit a letter that was being sent out to members of the first-ever class of Hampshire students. There’s going to be a special reception for them at Hampshire’s 40th reunion this June. Lindsay said, “This guy Jonathan was the second student ever admitted to Hampshire. The first accepted student didn’t graduate from here.  She ended up transferring—rather vocally.” I wanted to know more about that, so we looked it up on the online history of student activities. Here’s what we found:

1969

Apr 18
Lois Bailey of Syracuse, New York, is the first student accepted to Hampshire College, and Jonathan Wright of Guilford, Connecticut, is second; they both applied early decision. [Memo to Liz Wheeler from Van Halsey: 4/28/69]

Oct 3
The opening convocation is held: speakers Archibald MacLeish, Henry Steele Commager, and Silvio Conte are awarded the first (honorary) degrees, with Lois Bailey speaking on behalf of the students and James Watkins delivering the faculty address. [Convocation Publication, Fall 1970]

Nov 1
Lois Bailey, the first student accepted to Hampshire, has transferred to Williams College; in their student newspaper, the Advocate, she flippantly criticizes Hampshire for suffering from “isolationism, academic anxiety, and hyperseriousness.” [Climax: November 18, 1971]

I laughed out loud! I’d assumed Bailey’s reasons for transferring would be something like “not radical enough, not PC enough,” but her reasons are exactly the same reasons that I get fed up with Hampshire. Lois Bailey was dead on, and she went here forty years ago. I wonder how she found Williams in comparison.

I went on to tell Lindsay that I’d been nominated to be a commencement speaker, and how getting that nomination made me realize that we have very few obvious student leaders here. As surprised as I was that anyone (cough Tabitha) would nominate me I was hard pressed to come up with any obvious choice for that position. Hampshire students are independent. Those of us who appreciate this place the most are often also its harshest critics. So we make terrible spokespeople for Hampshire, at least in the typical way a college would hope for students to be spokespeople.

It’s an odd school. I understand why Lois Bailey transferred, but I’m glad I stayed.
See you at commencement, bitches.

(Note: In case you didn’t believe me about how awesome comics are in Minneapolis, Steve Stwalley recently posted THIS.)